10 things I learned in 2013

Hello blog, it's been a while since we've last talked. So long in fact, it's already 2014. Say what? That's one less year of laughing on rooftops, playing in sprinklers, snowboarding down mountains, and traveling the world, all of which I have (guiltily) yet to really experience. This year has been a wild one. Quick recap:

First Internship: At the Washington Language Center - you killed it.
AKPsi: That's right, you pledged this semester - you killed it.
Romantic Encounters - this happened. And also didn't happen.
Grades - you didn't quite kill it, but let me just say, you SO tried.
Photography - you discovered your passion.
NYC Trip - you discovered your dream job.

And well, I've learned some things. And I feel old. I only have half a year left of being a teenager and then it's the big 2-O. So, what did I learn?

1. Start each day with looking into the mirror and telling yourself you are one good looking human being. I think people forget to compliment themselves sometimes. Your opinion matters just as much as everyone else's. Hey, if other people aren't going to appreciate the beauty that is you, then you at least will. And you're going to do it first thing in the morning so you get the right momentum going for the rest of the day. Make it a routine. I'm no model but I'd be lying if I said I didn't walk past the mirror sometimes, walk back to check myself out, and then walk away thinking "damn, I look guuuud." It does not matter what you look like, the definition of beauty is subjective, and in a sphere where there is no true definition, your definition triumphs. Because let me correct my previous sentence, your opinion is the only one that matters.

2. Don't regret anything. This sounds strange, or maybe improbable, but seriously, don't. It's all about the attitude. Things are going to happen, and it's all about rolling with the punches. I've stopped thinking about the "what ifs" of my decisions. Instead I realize that I will figure it out and either way, my life will be filled with dose after dose of pure awesomeness (I sound like a dork, no regrets).

3. Be everyone's best friend and no one's best friend. You want to be everyone's best friend because there's nothing to lose from friendship. Also, you're one BAMF (read this out loud, it's more satisfying) and everyone should know it. What I mean by that is: who knows in what capacity you might meet a person later on in life (i.e. your boss). There is no one you can afford to alienate, offend, or ignore.

You want to be no one's best friend because one, sometimes it's better to not assign the mighty title of "best friend" to any one person. You feel guilty about your other friends, pressured to always be with this one, and exactly what are the benchmarks for choosing a best friend? For instance, you have the most fun with Sally, but you'd rather share all your life secrets with Sue. Hm, that's a toughie. Two, this title changes way too often for you to keep up with it (yes, there are exceptions for those that have bffls, we can't all be you). Three, you shouldn't spend all your time with so called "best friend" because just as much as you should be invested in and dedicated to your relationships with your closest friends, you should be spending the same amount of time and effort to making and growing new friendships. Again, you can never have too many friends.

4. You need to get out of the house. It's so easy to just chill at home, let yourself survive off frozen dumplings and meatballs, and dress like you are the bed, especially in the colder months. Once I read this quote: "Drink more, because no good stories start with 'I was eating a salad'..." Let me adapt this quote: no good stories start with "I was at home watching TV and eating ramen." And if you do have a good story that starts with that, I better be the first to hear it. The point is, the world is a playground. Go out there and play. Go to more concerts, eat at new restaurants, study in hidden library spots, join more clubs, and dare to go out in that red low cut dress (you didn't hear this from me).

5. Know your limits and boundaries. Then pick which ones you're going to surpass and push past. Some places and things have limits and boundaries for a reason. Other ones are meant for you to challenge and exceed. Know the difference and proceed accordingly.

Case 1: Alcohol. Don't test your limits.

Case 2: Intellect. Never think you can't learn or understand something. I get that certain things come more naturally to certain people, but I think in hyperbole, so think about this: if you take that intro CS class 10 times, you think you wouldn't eventually become a pro, even if it is just at that level?

Case 3: Looks. This is a tough one because it's twofold. Know that what you look like is a product of your genes and to some degree there are simply things you cannot change. And why should you? You're freaking beautiful. But also know you can definitely do things to enhance your beauty, and hey if that shiny sequin top or that extra half hour at the gym is going to make you feel more confident about yourself, go for it. Seriously, I'm all about increasing the sexy.

6. Little gestures of love make all the difference. Sometimes all it takes is one sticky note with a smiley face, a bouquet of roses, a surprise cleaning of the kitchen, or a warm hug to make someone's day. My roommate was a fan of doing these little things while I was struggling through pledging, and let me tell you, words fail to describe the immense gratitude I feel for her.

7. Names and faces matter. Please for the love of all things <insert something you love>, figure out how to remember people and also just everything in general. How many times have you seen someone, become seized with an inexplicable urge to say hi (inexplicable because you can't remember who they are), then end up waving to them because they waved to you, and when that episode is over, you're left feeling guilty and confused because you still have no idea who they are? Long question, but the answer is many times. And you've read so many articles telling you to remember people's names and facts about them (this is especially important for your career), so I don't know, make flash cards or start an excel document with pictures (all that FB stalking is finally coming into use) or something. Don't find yourself in that awkward situation where you have no idea what's the first letter of the name of a girl you know (oh good, you know something) you lived on a hall with for an entire year.

8. It's important to focus on one central goal. Like school, or love, or work, or family. Because at each point in our lives we ultimately have one main goal and it's hard enough to focus on that one goal. How many times have you started writing a book and realized it's a piece of crap or for reasons you'd rather not mention (you're lazy) you've never completed this goal? Don't get distracted. Stick to the one thing that's important and ride that sucker all the way to the finish line.  

9. Everything is about finding a balance. For every opinion or notion you have about anything, there is a reason why the very opposite is also correct. So you strike a balance. This idea is still confusing to me, so here is what I mean:

Belief 1: You should spend more time consuming worthwhile media like The Verge and the New York Times as opposed to other TV shows.Well, you do want to fill your brain with useful information, but it's important to know about American pop culture references too. Being knowledgeable and in the loop includes these pop culture references.
Goodness knows how many times you have resented hearing the unavoidable "OH did you see that episode of How I Met Your Mother where Barney...." and as soon as they say the name of the show you are automatically smh-ing inside because this can only lead to three things. One, the person is disappointed you don't know it, and things get awkward. Two, they are incredulous and cannot believe you have not seen this show, making you feel like you are oblivious to the existence of technology or the continent of United States (yes, I just made the US a continent, that's how oblivious you are). Three, someone else besides uncultured you gets the reference and the two of them laugh over it for hours while you sulk in the corner.

Belief 2: You should study more. Well, you should also play more. And if you think you should play more, you should probably study more.

Belief 3: You should appreciate other people's interests and be more willing accommodate them, you know - listen to their music, eat at a restaurant they prefer, go to the skate park instead of the art museum. But, life is also too short to spend doing things you don't want to do. Because maybe you'd rather sit in silence then hear another Slipknot song, you hate Chinese food (if you do, we can't be friends, problem solved), and you skate like a worm (worms don't have legs last time I checked). So...find a balance! Maybe listen to their songs for a bit but then request to play your music for the next 20 minutes (25 if they're feeling generous and you've heard the speech Greed is Good).

10. Never say never. And don't make rules. I know the first is a Justin Beiber song and the second negates everything I've said in this entire post, but just hear me out. I always say that the worst thing someone can say to me is "Don't ever change" because, as sage Hiraclitus once said "The only constant in life is change." And he's absolutely right. Just as you think you understand the rules of the game, someone somewhere is going to come along and do something at sometime that changes everything you ever thought you knew.

My other wise friend Socrates once said "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." And he's also absolutely right. The more you learn, the more you realize, what do you really know? You think you understand everything and decide that from this day on you will no longer do xyz, and then the next day you get slapped in the face by something else and have to change your rules. But what have I got to live by then, you ask. Well, I said don't make rules. That word has the connotations of being definite, of being the law of the land, carved into stone. Why not just um, make guidelines?


Final word:
At the end of this year, I discovered that I have learned so so much. But I say that at the end of every year don't I? And I'm only going to keep saying that year after year. I guess that's the beauty of life, you never stop learning and you never stop being surprised by how much you do and don't know.

The last question I have for myself is: what does the graph for the rate of learning over a person's life look like? I've considered a bell curve as a logical answer. I mean, from a baby to your late 30s or early 40s, you're consuming knowledge at a ravenous pace from learning how to walk to hitting the books for the next 16 years to learning the ropes at your new job and then your new position you get promoted to. It's crazy. But then maybe you finally get settled in at your job and in your family, so things get pretty routine. Then as you approach old age, everything just dies down, and you spend your days lying around in more relaxed pursuits.

But, what if it isn't a bell curve? What if life is an exponential graph? Because every year I feel like I've learned more than the last and well if this continues, my brain might just explode from the all things it has in there. It's crazy to think about, but I kind of like the idea that the rate of learning over a lifetime is an exponential graph.

And if it really is, well, I hope mine never hits a plateau.